Hello! I am slowly reemerging into the world of photography after a long hiatus. In that time I accomplished a lot and experienced a lot and traveled a lot and created a lot, but one thing I did not do a lot of was shoot weddings. I took a break from my career partly because some of life's unexpected events forced me to, and partly because I wanted to. I had several very prolific years where I was traveling around the world shooting around 40 weddings a year and I just wanted a break, and blessedly, my former success allowed me to take one.

I was concerned I might not return. Not because I don't still love shooting weddings, I do, but because the industry has changed so much in the short time I have been away from it, and working my way back in is daunting. But, and I am reluctant to admit this, I fell out of love with many aspects of the job that made the work required to pursue the parts I do still love feel overwhelming. And I wondered if there is even still space for me in such a crowded market. I wondered if this was maybe an opportunity to pursue a different path.

I plan to share more of my journey of the last year here in the future; my thought process, travels, misadventures, fears, and of course, my photos. But for now, I wanted to share some of my feelings and my approach to shooting weddings, and why I ultimately decided I wasn't ready to walk away.

I’ve noticed a trend in wedding photography, and one that is largely lauded and showcased on wedding blogs, of a certain picture of wedding day perfection. Moments and details are staged in gorgeous late afternoon light, everything is captured in soft, flattering over-bright pastel hues, and everyone is posed to look their happiest and most relaxed. This has become the standard in wedding photography because of course it is undeniably beautiful. Who doesn’t want to exist in that magazine spread with the perfectly iced cake and the mismatched rustic farm tables dripping with greenery, all bathed in golden light? It’s lovely!

Personally, I’m not all that interested in perfection. Life is messy. Wedding days, despite our very best efforts and planning and staging and decorating, are messy. And that is why I love them. I am drawn to the real, the ugly, the emotional, the unpredictable, the mistakes, and the messes, and aftermaths, and tensions, the fast-paced and true. I am far more drawn to the mundane and ordinary and imperfect than the whimsical, decadent, and pretty.

Falling in love—you well know—means not seeing your beloved as the flawless ideal, but embracing every ugly, irritating, bumpy, hairy, imperfect part of them. My heart swells most for my daughter not when she is a model child, perfectly dressed and coiffed and behaving, but when her dirty big toe is sticking out of a hole in her tights and she has chocolate on her face and her fingers are red and purple and blue from drawing all day. She has a thumbprint-sized red birthmark hidden by hair at the base of her neck that only I see and cherish and adore. Truly loving someone sometimes means that you can appreciate these little things in a way no one else can. Anyone can regard a person's finer qualities, but at the heart of real love is your unique ability to revere all of the little blemishes and flaws and shortcomings as lovely marks of that person’s real beauty.

Authenticity is a key word thrown around so much within the wedding industry it has lost a little bit of its meaning when talking about photography. But at the core of what I do, still, is a dedication to authenticity, not prettiness. I've taken thousands and thousands of pretty pictures. I like pretty pictures.

But I love pictures with heart, grit, and mystery.

I understand the desire to put forth an image of perfection to the world. We curate our social media image and put on a smile in public even when our insides are aching. Of course this need to project perfection extends to the way we plan and package and photograph weddings. I see the love that goes into every detail of weddings as a gift of gratitude to guests for their part in our stories. But sometimes, too, it can feel like a pageant.

At their heart, weddings are celebrations of life and love. And life and love are rarely picture perfect. People are at their most lovable when they drop the mask, and show us their real, true, imperfect human selves. This is how I will approach weddings, and really anything I shoot, from now on. There are thousands of photographers available for those that want to remember their wedding day as perfect and pretty. I am looking for clients willing to show me their realness, their humanity. Your wedding should be a reflection of your life. Human and emotional and real and full of surprises and joyful and complicated and imprecise and full of love and really fucking amazing. Real life is beautiful enough it doesn't have to be styled or staged or retouched.

I am drawn to and moved by human connection above all else in this life, and my photographic work is a celebration of these facets of life and love. My commitment is that I will work harder to show my own realness and humanity as well. Let's celebrate this glorious mess of a life together.

Behind the Curtain